Therapy

Doc is sitting in an armchair; couch is in front of him. Macbeth enters, and proceeds to couch.

Doc: Hello there Mister (Doc looks into file) Macbeth! I’m Doctor Duncan King, but my patients call me Doc. (Macbeth is shocked)
So, shall we start? (Macbeth shakes his head, but is ignored)
Firstly, well done. Admittance is the first step on this long road to recovery, and you are now on the second, namely therapy.
Now, what exactly, apart from these (pauses) “otherworldly” incidents such as your dead friend’s appearance, or a dagger’s appearance happened to you?

Macbeth: Well, Ban- Doc. On a day so foul and fair, that I have not seen since, my friend and I were just walking home from a fight those Norwegians had picked wi’ us, when we saw a group that seemed So wither'd and so wild in their attire, That look not like the inhabitants o' the earth, and we approached them.

Doc: okay, okay. Hold up there. Can you go into a bit more detail? What did you say, what did they say?

Macbeth: Well, as I was saying, we talked tae them, and they turned tae me and said All hail, Macbeth! hail to thee, thane of Glamis! All hail, Macbeth, hail to thee, thane of Cawdor! All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter! Which kinda freaked my friend Banquo, out. When he asked if they would speak tae his sorry mug, they said that he shalt get kings, though he be none. After a couple o’ minutes, we realised they meant that his children shall be kings.
About an hour after that, a messenger caught up wi’ us, and passed along the word that I was now thane of Cawdor

Doc: So, a quick recap. You were told by three creatures that you would become king, and your friend’s kids would be kings. And you believed them after having gotten the promotion they told you about, which led to your committing regicide. Correct?

Macbeth: Aye, ye’re correct. Well, my late wife Lady Macbeth had told me to grow a pair o’ balls, and to look like the innocent flower,But be the serpent under't, after I had said that We will proceed no further in this business. So I did as she said, guided by a dagger I saw in the air, The handle toward my hand, I entered the King’s chambers, and stabbed him to death.
Right after this, when the body had been found and I had most need of blessing, 'Amen' Stuck in my throat. Later, Methought I heard a voice cry 'Sleep no more! Macbeth does murder sleep, Glamis hath murder'd sleep!

Doc: So, you started hearing voices after you killed the King? Did these voices come again? Did any other occurrences happen?

Macbeth: Well. The voices didn’t come again, but I did see a dead man. (Doc nods encouragingly) So, later on I decided that seeing as the witches had said that Banquo shalt get kings, though he be none, I decided Banquo was getting tae big for his boots, so I arranged for him to… disappear.
The same night, I was hosting a dinner wi’ a couple o’ friends, and Banquo turned up. He had been dead already for some hours, I know because the men I engaged for this reported to me, that his throat is cut, and With twenty trenched gashes on his head, in a ditch he bides. Yet I saw him there, at my very own place. (Doc makes an encouraging noise)

Doc: (Doc looks at clock) Well, erm… Mr. Macbeth, I hate to have to interrupt you, but I must remind you that this session is slowly drawing to a close.

Macbeth: (ignores this)So, naturally, I was a bit shocked, and I went out to find the weird sisters who had told me that I was going tae be thane of Glamis and Cawdor, as well as King. When I got to them, they were chanting something like Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble, and throwing all sorts of guts in. Sounds like something from this Shakepseare guy, doesn't it?

Doc: I’m going to have to stop you there, as our session ended 2 minutes ago. Those 2 minutes, you’ll have to pay extra, at double price, outside by my secretary. Oh, and, beware Macduff, beware the dog.

Macbeth faints.